Feeling Safe at Work
Imagine going to work feeling valued and safe. Imagine being respected by your colleagues and supported by your bosses as you progress up the career ladder. Imagine achieving your dreams in your career - whatever they may be.
That's how you started out. But then "reality" got in the way. Colleagues making lewd remarks, sending you indecent images and the unwanted touching.
You tried saying stop, but got laughed at. Senior colleagues, even other women told you that's the way it is, making you feel over-sensitive, and consider leaving. You start doubting yourself and wonder if you're just not cut out for this job.
You've shelved those dreams - every day is about surviving.
What if we told you that you were not alone? 1 in 3 women have been sexually harassed at work. That's huge! Until #MeToo came along, most women stayed silent - believing it was their fault, feeling ashamed or not knowing who to trust.
This is why we are creating circles - where women like you can share your stories in a safe space, feel supported and heard, reclaim your power and get your life back.
This Circle is for you if:
- You have been looking for a space to talk about your experiences, knowing you are safe, heard and believed
- You want to make a difference and make sure others don't live your story
- You are looking for a "tribe" - women who understand you because they've had similar experiences.
After completing 8 weeks with the Circle, you will be:
- Heard, believed, validated and supported.
- Able to reclaim your power from your harassers and others who have let you down
- More confident and assertive as you navigate your workplace and interact with colleagues
- Able to make positive change and step into leadership within your organisation in addressing sexual harassment and other forms of toxicity.
- Part of a supportive circle and a new group of friends who can continue to meet and support each other.
The Speak Up Circle for Women Addressing Sexual Harassment
For 90 minutes each week, your facilitators Animah Kosai and Jan Cruickshank will create a safe space where you can each share your experiences and receive validation and insights, helping you feel empowered.
Each week, we address a specific theme.
- Week 1: Safety, Trust, Boundaries and Consent. Set out your own boundaries and what makes you safe. Learn how to support each other through listening, presence and validation. You will practice this skill throughout the sessions and this will help you when you want to support others in your organisation.
- Week 2: Types and Gradations of Sexual Harassment and how it develops over time. Trusting your instincts. Knowing what you want. Sexual harassment can start small and get bigger over time. Women commonly report feeling uncomfortable at the start but dismiss their feelings.
- Week 3: The impact of sexual harassment: mental, physical and on your career. The definition of sexual harassment includes the impact on the victim and how it makes them feel (eg. intimidation, humiliation). By working out how the harassment made you feel and its impact on you, you can frame your narrative and make a case.
- Week 4: Confronting the harasser: DARVO. Harasser types. We discuss how you've spoken to your harasser and what happened. Some harassers follow a playbook of denial, attack the victim and play victim. Recognising the signs helps you avoid falling for their tricks and being gaslit. Understanding the type of harasser you're facing, helps you strategise how to deal with them.
- Week 5: Organisational Culture, normalising Sexual Harassment, Gaslighting. Bystander Intervention We discuss the environments in which you're working in. How widespread is sexual harassment and what conduct has become accepted. The tone at the top. Toxic workculture. Whether people feel safe to intervene.
- Week 6: Reporting the harassment. Institutional Betrayal. Victim blaming. Your experience in reporting - whether you felt supported or experienced further harm. What needs to be in place to support victims.
- Week 7: Taking Action: Building Allies, finding Supporters at work. Identifying your supporters to rally around your cause.
- Week 8: Framing your narrative and reclaiming your story. Stepping into Leadership. Discussing your next steps and what you can do to address sexual harassment in a larger context.
The Speak Up Circle for Women Addressing Sexual Harassment
How it Works
We meet for 90 minutes on Zoom each week as we each share our sexual harassment stories in a safe space and move from victimhood towards leadership. With each week, we focus on a theme. You will have access to materials and videos before each session so that you can relate it to your experience and come prepared to discuss it and receive reflections.
The most powerful impact of circles is through listening to stories of other women - you realise you are not alone and this solidarity gives you strength as you address your own harassment - whether it is still continuing or you are processing past incidents.
Animah brings her skills as facilitator in holding space to empower women to share and Jan, a well known survivor of workplace sexual assault, brings deep empathy while validating you.
This is a space where we believe you. We don't judge or victim blame. We go by the premise in this video:
Your Faciliators
Animah Kosai
Hi, I'm Animah, a lawyer by background, from Malaysia, and currently living in London where I founded Speak Up At Work.
I suffered workplace harassment for the first two years in my legal career, affecting my self esteem and almost causing me to leave the profession. In the years that followed, I thought harassing behaviour was part of the normal working world and took on those behaviours myself.
It was only when I switched industries and joined Oil & Gas, that I learnt how harmful harassment was to individuals, teams and organisations. As in-house counsel, I introduced harassment free workplace policies, co-designed training and investigated harassment. I am passionate about eradicating workplace harassment as I believe we all have incredible potential which harassment and bullying robs us of. Harassment harms us individually, our families, our companies and ultimately society.
My vision is a world of work where people are able to grow and reach their aspirations in safe, inclusive and healthy work environments. By creating and facilitating this Circle, I hope to help you feel empowered in your own journey.
I have trained with Asian master coach Wai K. Leong and Feminine Power coach Claire Zammit, and bring with me, my knowledge and experience, having designed, implemented and handled workplace harassment in corporate and non-profit settings.
Find out more about me on LinkedIn.
Jan Cruickshank
Hi, I'm Jan. I was born and raised in Aberdeen, Scotland, the youngest of 3 children. My main ambition was to be Snow White. Fate however, had other ideas and instead decided my role would be one of the dwarves; Pickaxe in hand, carving out a better and fairer future for others.
After leaving school I worked in banking and married my teenage sweetheart Rob, working as a finance agent whilst raising our three children. As they grew, I learnt computing and eventually taught computing at college and community outreach centres.
Never one to shy from a challenge, I often laboured for my husband’s roofing business to show that women could do men’s work too. I took up a role in construction mentoring and managing trade apprentices. I exceeded the area targets, completed leadership and management training and successfully nominated 3 winners in the first 2 years of the CITB Awards. My greatest’s delight was in helping apprentices grow into accomplished tradespeople.
With my friendly and outgoing personality, and skills, I felt I had found my role in life. But my life changed when I was sexually harassed in the industry. I eventually reported my colleague, believing the matter could be resolved. The company turned on me and after a harrowing battle I lost my career. A lengthy legal process followed and I received a settlement and an apology. I managed to fight an NDA and can speak publicly about my experiences.
Determined to make a difference and facilitate changes in the system, I have been working hard with others to introduce a fair reporting system, which treats everyone with the humanity they deserve.
Breathe a little magic into your life and join us on
February 23, 2021, and every Tuesday for 8 weeks - 8pm GMT, 3pm EST, 12 noon PST
Circle Member Benefits
As a Circle Member you get free access to our course Defeat Harassment at Work and be a member of Speak Up Academy where you can continue to meet with your cohort and other inspirational change-makers and thought leaders.
Free access to our Defeat Harassment at Work course!
Exclusive access to Speak Up's Defeat Harassment At Work course where you will:
- Get Clear on what harassment is, whether what you are experiencing is harassment and the impact it has on your life.
- Hatch a plan as you learn various techniques and options from speaking to your harasser, finding allies and building your case.
- Move forward from confusion and paralysis to clear action.
Download our Circle Guide for Women Experiencing Sexual Harassment
Once you have completed the course, you may be inspired to run support circles for friends and colleagues. Our guide helps you do just that!
Free Membership of Speak Up Academy for 2021
Speak Up Academy is an online community of thought leaders and change makers around speaking up at work - on harassment, safety and wrongdoing. Join our weekly Cafes, monthly Spotlights and special interest groups who are committed to creating safe and thriving workplaces... around the world!
Find out more here!
Frequently Asked Questions
I'd like to join but I'm in Asia and it's in the middle of the night for me. Will you have a Circle suitable for people in Asia?
Absolutely! If there is enough request from other parts of the world, drop Animah an email at [email protected] and let her know where you are and what times work for you.
What if I can't make a session, will it be recorded?
Safe space is important to us and for this reason, we do not record any of our circle sessions. The materials discussed are available to be viewed anytime and as a member of Speak Up Academy, you will be able to join other events, like Speak Up Voices. To really benefit from the Circle, it's best that you attend the sessions live.
I have signed an NDA. Can I share my story?
While this is not a public space and no one outside the Circle will know what you talk about, you should consult your lawyer as to the exact parameters of your NDA. We do ask however, that people do not name their harassers or employers. The purpose of the circle is not to name and shame, but rather as a space to listen and support you.
I'm interested in establishing a circle like this for the women in our organisation. Do you offer this in-house?
It's wonderful that you want to do this for your employees. We do provide exclusive circles for organisations. Drop us an email at [email protected] to find out more.
Is this therapy?
No. It is a support circle to help you speak through your experience. This is not meant to replace professional therapy, which we highly recommend for those who have experienced serious or long term harassment.
Do you give legal advice?
No we don't. Our Circle is cross jurisdictional and the laws differ from countries and states. We might talk about legal definitions and options within some sessions as the legal avenue is important, but you will need to consult a lawyer if you want to take legal action or understand your rights.
Courses you might be interested in
We are all about making workplaces safe, where employees feel safe to speak up on things that matter and are able to thrive and grow. Our courses are for leaders (who are passionate about healthy, open and thriving work cultures), change-makers (such as those in compliance and HR type roles) and general employees who yearn to speak up
