Watch the video for how to respond when someone comes to you with their harassment story. You might be the first person they are speaking to. Be aware that they may be overwhelmed or upset. The kindest thing you can do is listen, and resist trying to rationalise the harasser's behaviour or give them advice.

Watch the video, several times if you have to. It's a lot to absorb.

Listen

• Don't interrupt
• Be present
• With empathy

Be Aware

• Of your own biases, beliefs and values as this affects your ability to truly listen and be supportive.

Do Not

• Judge
• Victim blame. Note that clarifying questions can be perceived as victim blaming.
• Defend the harasser or justify their actions
• Offer advice or opinions unless asked. Don't say, "you should have..." or "I would have..."
• Invalidate their feelings. Saying "calm down", has the opposite effect.
• Minimise their experience
• Normalise their experience
• Gaslight
• Make them feel they are overreacting or too sensitive
• Make it about you. Resist the urge to share your story as a way of relating to them. This is about you being there for you, not for them to reassure you.

Do

• Acknowledge and validate them
• Remind them that it is not their fault

Support

• Ask how you can support them
• If you can, offer to be a witness or approach a senior person with their consent
• Respect their decision
• Empower them rather than take over or tell them what to do
• Only advise if they ask for it

Confidentiality

• Maintain confidentiality. Do not tell anyone else without their consent. If a crime is committed, inform someone from the legal department. If you are concerned they may self harm, inform a senior HR person immediately - and check back to ensure safeguarding.